This Is Going To Hurt

A tale of willpower, staying healthy and bad decisions – for science.

In January, I decided that 2021 was about pushing my limits.

Finance, Health, Willpower. Those were the three things I wanted to isolate and improve. Finance was easy – there were templates to follow. Health had had a head start in for the last two years.

Willpower and my love of food, however? Therein lay the problem.

Earlier in the year I got in the zone. I found my stride and attempted a 3-day water fast. No food, just water, oxygen, and vibes.

I did it.

So I pushed for a 5-day fast.

It is still, to date, one of the most humbling things I have ever done. You really get to know yourself when you do an extended fast. As you hollow out and all your attention turns inwards, you have time, so much time, to understand what you can or cannot do. On a basic psychological level, I knew I could technically go 5 days without food.

That didn’t stop it from being one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life.

But that was 9 months ago. I have gotten and fallen off the wagon multiple times. These days I pull off a 36-hour fast successfully and whisper to myself like Sméagol “You’ve still got it.”

So here we are today, with me brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror and I just start laughing.

And it’s because I heard that internal voice as clear as day:

You should totally do a 7-day fast. NOW.

It was ludicrous, totally daft and I knew right then I was going to attempt it.

One week without food. Can I actually do it? I honestly have no idea. I am petrified just thinking about it.

But if the agreement with myself has been to make 2021 the year of pushing my limits and finding survival in the things I thought would break me, then I cannot think of a bigger way to end the year than going on one hell of a cleanse.

Here’s to bad decisions and autophagy. 😄

See you all in a week.