Why It’s Easier To Believe We Suck And Harder To Believe We’re Smart

Evolution and the voices might be the real culprits here.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only person that finds it so easy to believe the absolute worst about myself.

I mess up a presentation, and suddenly I’m convinced I’m incompetent. I get rejected at a pitch, and my inner voice screams, “See? You’re not good enough.”

But when something goes right? When I land a big client or receive a glowing compliment? I brush it off as luck, a fluke, or something I don’t really deserve.

It’s like our brains are wired to focus on the negative and dismiss the positive. We’re quick to believe we suck, but hesitant to accept that we’re actually pretty damn good at what we do.

Why is that?

I read some excellent articles that pointed out that part of it is probably evolutionary. Our ancestors needed to be hyper-aware of threats and dangers, so our brains developed a negativity bias. This makes a lot of sense when you see that it is easier to believe we’re not good enough and stay safe than to risk overconfidence and get eaten by a saber-toothed tiger.

But in today’s world, that negativity bias can absolutely decimate your self confidence and willpower.

When you get right down to it, we’re all a mix of strengths and weaknesses. We have moments of brilliance and moments of utter stupidity. But somehow, we tend to focus on the latter and downplay the former.

There’s this thing I used to do back then in my writing days.

I would think up a fantastic idea for a campaign. I’d add in all the bells and whistles, really lean into the uniqueness of it, building it out to its full strength. And then, I’d go present it to my boss or the client back then. And it would get torn apart.

And as they spoke and beat up this idea I had been in love with, I would turn on myself. I would inevitably start telling myself it had always been clear the idea wasn’t that good.

So, how did I break free from this self-sabotaging pattern?

Well, it starts with awareness. You need to recognize that your brain is wired to focus on the negative. That way, when those self-doubting thoughts creep in, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true? Or am I just falling into my usual negativity trap?”

Next, start documenting your wins, no matter how small. Did you land a new client? Finish a project on time? Write it down and give yourself a pat on the back. Fight your negativity with receipts. Build a back catalogue of work that reminds you of how good you are when you forget. This has helped me stay in the light and on track many times.

Finally, surround yourself with people who believe in you. People who see your potential and encourage you to reach for the stars. Sometimes the voices inside can get really loud. It doesn’t hurt to have some external ones to keep you balanced.

And if you’re looking for a community of positive minded individuals, The Monday Memos newsletter might just be your thing! This newsletter born from my Monday Memos book continues to gather steam (surprising even me!) with just how many people still sign up every week to download my book and receive the newsletter each Monday.

If you’re the kind of person who thinks they’d appreciate a creative catalyst every now and then to come up with more creative ideas, write better or just get nuggets that help life make sense, Why don’t you sign up? It’s 100% free.

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